Anticipatory Grief
Apr 20, 2022 18:06:49 GMT
Post by Sef on Apr 20, 2022 18:06:49 GMT
Preparing Yourself for Loss
Anticipatory grief, or “pre-grief,” begins when we realize that our pet is terminally ill or otherwise in failing health and may have a limited amount of time remaining with us. This can be very challenging for us as pet parents because of course we want to enjoy the precious time that we still have with our animal companion, but we may also feel very depressed, angry, anxious, and confused. We may also encounter physical issues such as lack of appetite, difficulty sleeping, weight loss, etc. In other words, we are grieving the loss before it has actually occurred. It may help to know that what you are experiencing is a very natural response to the prospect of losing a loved one. Know that it is okay to feel overwhelmed by it at times, and that it is okay to lean on others when you need to. A pet who is aged and/or in failing health often needs additional or specialized care, and this can be physically and emotionally draining as well. Be extra gentle with yourself and make time for good self-care.
If you are anticipating the loss of a beloved pet, we recommend having a conversation your veterinarian to discuss the progression of the disease or other health issues and determine what can be done to help keep the pet as comfortable as possible. Very often we are unable to be as objective about the situation as we need to be, and this can make it much harder for us to make informed decisions about our pet’s palliative care and final days. A veterinarian can help gauge your pet’s quality of life throughout the illness or failing body, and can offer guidance and support when it becomes necessary to consider releasing your friend from his or her pain or distress.
Here are some other suggestions that may be helpful:
As the saying goes, we can't add more days to their life, but we can try to add a little more life to their days by making the most out of the time remaining.
Anticipatory grief, or “pre-grief,” begins when we realize that our pet is terminally ill or otherwise in failing health and may have a limited amount of time remaining with us. This can be very challenging for us as pet parents because of course we want to enjoy the precious time that we still have with our animal companion, but we may also feel very depressed, angry, anxious, and confused. We may also encounter physical issues such as lack of appetite, difficulty sleeping, weight loss, etc. In other words, we are grieving the loss before it has actually occurred. It may help to know that what you are experiencing is a very natural response to the prospect of losing a loved one. Know that it is okay to feel overwhelmed by it at times, and that it is okay to lean on others when you need to. A pet who is aged and/or in failing health often needs additional or specialized care, and this can be physically and emotionally draining as well. Be extra gentle with yourself and make time for good self-care.
If you are anticipating the loss of a beloved pet, we recommend having a conversation your veterinarian to discuss the progression of the disease or other health issues and determine what can be done to help keep the pet as comfortable as possible. Very often we are unable to be as objective about the situation as we need to be, and this can make it much harder for us to make informed decisions about our pet’s palliative care and final days. A veterinarian can help gauge your pet’s quality of life throughout the illness or failing body, and can offer guidance and support when it becomes necessary to consider releasing your friend from his or her pain or distress.
Here are some other suggestions that may be helpful:
- Try to take things one day at a time. As with a terminally ill person or someone who is elderly, your pet will have good days and bad.
- Be realistic about your pet’s condition and limitations. Look for ways to work around his or her condition in order to improve and extend his or her quality of life as much as possible.
- Try to focus on the present. Our animal friends live very much in the moment; they do not worry about tomorrow or fear what is to come. They do, however, pick up on our emotions. While it is perfectly natural to feel sadness in knowing that your pet may have less time with you than you would have wanted, you can choose to create a positive, enriching environment for them while they are still with you.
- Create a “bucket list” of things that you can still do together. What lasting memories do you want to create? If there are special treats or experiences that your pet might enjoy, use this time to do those things (if you are unsure about a treat or activity, be sure to check with your veterinarian first). Don’t forget to take pictures or videos of these special moments, too.
- Seek help from supportive friends or family during this time. Caregiving for a terminally ill or fragile pet can be physically and emotionally exhausting. Take time for you, too.
- As difficult as it is, this might also be a suitable time to plan and talk about your wishes for after your pet’s death. For example, do you want them to be cremated and their ashes returned to you, or do you want other after-care arrangements? It is worth exploring your options ahead of time, rather than waiting until after your pet passes when it can be harder to make these types of decisions.
As the saying goes, we can't add more days to their life, but we can try to add a little more life to their days by making the most out of the time remaining.